I call myself the mother of gay kids everywhere, but sometimes being a mom is a lot to handle. I was contacted by a kid today that was so upset that he was really gonna hurt himself. He was trying to come to terms with the fact that he's gay and just couldn't reconcile that with all that he was raised to believe. He remembered everyone saying it was a choice and he didn't wanna be gay. It took me about 3 hours to make him see that he was born gay and that there was nothing wrong with it. For a woman suffering severe depression, talking someone else back from the edge of suicide takes a lot out of me. Don't get me wrong, I love my adopted gay kids online and I would do anything for them, but sometimes...especially when I'm out of my anti-depressants, it makes me somewhat suicidal as well. Today is a day that I almost said fuck it. Fuck everything, life is just a bunch of bullshit and I'm not wanting to be around anymore. I really do wanna die. Maybe, if I can hold out til tomorrow, I'll feel better.
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